Behaviour Problems

Child Behaviour  Problems

In today’s society, children face countless situations that can have a negative effect on their social–emotional and academic development and ultimately on their happiness in life. Many societies consider delinquency, violence, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, and early patterns of sexual behaviour that risk sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy among never married teenagers to be serious problems.

Common reasons for engaging in problem behaviour are:

1. To get attention (positive or negative)

2. To get an activity, toy, or item

3. To escape or avoid an activity or task

4. Due to physical or medical conditions

In simple terms, social and emotional learning (SEL) is the capacity to recognize and manage emotions, solve problems effectively, and establish positive relationships with others, competencies that clearly are essential for all students. Thus, SEL targets a combination of behaviours, cognitions, and emotions.

 Describe these common features in the principles of effective prevention-

1.Prevention efforts should begin with prenatal care and continue throughout the school years

2. Provide positive consequences to increase desirable behaviours

3. Clear, immediate, mild negative consequences can reduce problem behaviours

4.Create opportunities for children to observe and practice interpersonal as well as academic skills

5. Know where children and adolescents are, what they are doing and with whom, and provide appropriate supervision

6. Reduce youths’ access to the situations in which problem behaviour is particularly likely to occur

7. Reduce children’s exposure to negative conditions that cause stress

8. Encourage good biological functioning throughout development

9. Reducing aggressive behaviour among young children can prevent many problems later on

10. Establishing strong, clear norms for behaviour can influence youths’ behaviour

Key Components of Effective SEL: Five key competencies are taught, practiced, and reinforced through SEL programming (CASEL, 2003):

A.Self-awareness—Identification and recognition of one’s own emotions, recognition of strengths in self and others, sense of self-efficacy, and self-confidence.

B.  Social awareness—Empathy, respect for others, and perspective taking.

C.Responsible decision making—Evaluation and reflection, and personal and ethical responsibility.

D.Self-management—Impulse control, stress management, persistence, goal setting, and motivation.

E. Relationship skills—Cooperation, help seeking and providing, and communication.

      

        Dr.Shweta singh

         Guest Lecturer,

         Dpt of Applied Psychology,

        V.B.S.Purvanchal University

        Jaunpur,U.P.,INDIA 

        shweta_opsingh@rediffmail.com

Why Children's Lies

Why Children's Lies  

When children begin to lie purposely, there may be several reasons:

1. •To play with you;
2. •Because he thinks it is funny;
3. •To gain control of you or a situation;
4. •To avoid punishment;
5. •To cast blame on someone else;
6. •Because of fear or anxiety;
7. •To avoid doing something they do not want to do Because of jealousy. 
8. •Fear. When kids are scared of the consequences of their actions, they often lie to cover up. (Are the rules too strict? Are the limits too tight? Does your child feel free to talk with you?)
9. •To protect somebody else.
10. •Because she is imaginative and the truth is boring.
11. •To avoid an unpleasant task. (“Did you brush your teeth?” “Yes, Dad!”)
12. •By mistake. Sometimes lies seem almost involuntary, and a lie just slips out, especially if your child gets caught in a misdeed.
13. •For love, for approval, and because kids like to impress people quickly and effectively
14. •cover something up, hoping to avoid consequences or punishment                               
15. •explore and experiment with their parents’ responses and reactions
16. •exaggerate a story or impress others
17. •gain attention, even when they’re aware the listener knows the truth
18. •manipulate a situation or set something up – for example, saying to grandma, ‘Mum lets me have lollies before dinner’.
19. •Some kids lie because they feel that they are not meeting their parent's expectations. Are you putting too much pressure?                         
20. perform academically, athletically, or in other ways? Are your expectations realistic for a child that age?
21. •Sometimes, parental consequences are too harsh. A child may lie to avoid a punishment that he feels is unfair. 
22. •Children may lie to protect a friend or family member.  
23. •A child may lie to preserve his self image.                                        

BY :=

Namrata Singh

Child Psychologist

mail us....- namm.psychologist@gmail.com

Fun Dance

Smoking Kids

Smoking In Kids 

The health risks of tobacco are well known, but kids and teens continue to smoke and use chewing tobacco. Many young people pick up these habits every year — in fact, 90% of all adult smokers started when they were kids. Each day, more than 5,000 kids become regular smokers.

So it's important to make sure kids understand the dangers of tobacco use. Smoking is the leading cause of preventable deaths in the United States, and can cause cancer, heart disease, and lung disease. Chewing tobacco (smokeless or spit tobacco) can lead to nicotine addiction, oral cancer, gum disease, and an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, including heart attacks.

Giving kids information about the risks of smoking and chewing tobacco, and establishing clear rules and your reasons for them, can help protect them from these unhealthy habits.

You also should know the warning signs of tobacco use and constructive ways to help someone kick the habit.

The Facts About Tobacco

One of the major problems with smoking and chewing tobacco has to do with the chemical nicotine. Someone can get addicted to nicotine within days of first using it. In fact, the nicotine in tobacco can be as addictive as cocaine or heroin. Nicotine affects mood as well as the heart, lungs, stomach, and nervous system.

Other health risks include short-term effects of smoking such as coughing and throat irritation. Over time, more serious conditions may develop, including increases in heart rate and blood pressure, bronchitis, and emphysema.

Finally, numerous studies indicate that young smokers are more likely to experiment with marijuana, cocaine, heroin, or other illicit drugs.

The Attraction for Kids

Kids might be drawn to smoking and chewing tobacco for any number of reasons — to look cool, act older, lose weight, win cool merchandise, seem tough, or feel independent.

But parents can combat those draws and keep kids from trying — and getting addicted to — tobacco. Establish a good foundation of communication with your kids early on to make it easier to work through tricky issues like tobacco use.

Prevention Tips

To help prevent your kids from using tobacco, keep these guidelines in mind:·         Discuss it in a way that doesn't make kids fear punishment or judgment.
·         It's important to keep talking to kids about the dangers of tobacco use over the years. Even the youngest child can understand that smoking is bad for the body.
·         Ask what kids find appealing — or unappealing — about smoking. Be a patient listener.
·         Read, watch TV, and go to the movies with your kids. Compare media images with what happens in reality.
·         Encourage kids to get involved in activities that prohibit smoking, such as sports.
·         Show that you value your kids' opinions and ideas.
·         Discuss ways to respond to peer pressure to smoke. Your child may feel confident simply saying "no." But also offer alternative responses such as "It will make my clothes and breath smell bad" or "I hate the way it makes me look."
·         Emphasize what kids do right rather than wrong. Self-confidence is a child's best protection against peer pressure.
·         Encourage kids to walk away from friends who don't respect their reasons for not smoking.
·         Explain how much smoking governs the daily life of kids who start doing it. How do they afford the cigarettes? How do they have money to pay for other things they want? How does it affect their friendships?
·         Establish firm rules that exclude smoking and chewing tobacco from your house and explain why: Smokers smell bad, look bad, and feel bad, and it's bad for everyone's health.

What to Watch For

If you smell smoke on your child's clothing, try not to overreact. Ask about it first — maybe he or she has been hanging around with friends who smoke or just tried one cigarette. Many kids do try a cigarette at one time or another but don't go on to become regular smokers.

Additional signs of tobacco use include:

·         coughing

·         throat irritation

·         hoarseness

·         bad breath

·         decreased athletic performance

·         greater susceptibility to colds

·         stained teeth and clothing (also signs of chewing tobacco use)

·         shortness of breath

Getting Through to Kids

Sometimes even the best foundation isn't enough to stop kids from experimenting with tobacco. It may be tempting to get angry, but it's more productive to focus on communicating with your child.

Here are some tips that may help:

·         Resist lecturing or turning your advice into a sermon.

·         Uncover what appeals to your child about smoking and talk about it honestly.

·         Many times, kids aren't able to appreciate how their current behaviors can affect their future health. So talk about the immediate downsides to smoking: less money to spend on other pursuits, shortness of breath, bad breath, yellow teeth, and smelly clothes.

·         Stick to the smoking rules you've set up. And don't let a child smoke at home to keep the peace.

·         If you hear, "I can quit any time I want," ask your child to show you by quitting cold turkey for a week.

·         Try not to nag. Ultimately, quitting is the smoker's decision.

·         Help your child develop a quitting plan and offer information and resources, and reinforce the decision to quit with praise.

·         Stress the natural rewards that come with quitting: freedom from addiction, improved fitness, better athletic performance, and improved appearance.

Encourage a meeting with your doctor, who can be supportive and may have treatment plans

Anxiety in children

HANDLE CHILDREN ANXIETY 

·         Encourage your child to discuss his/her fears with you. Children, who are encouraged to talk about their concerns and feelings, will feel comforted and less alone. By listening to your child, you may also discover what the underlying problem is and therefore find ways to help. Suggest that your child write a story or draw a picture of scary things, and look for clues to help you understand his fears better.

·         Reassure and comfort your child. Children need lots of hugs and assurance that they are safe and understood. It is important to acknowledge their fears as being real to them and not trivialize their feelings. What children fear may seem silly to you, but that doesn’t make the emotion any less real.

·         Watch out for your own anxieties and worries. In some cases, anxiety is a learnt response and children may be picking up on your tensions. You are your child’s best model for behavior!

·   Teach your child relaxation techniques like deep breathing during anxious moments, counting to 10 or self-soothing statements. These methods can help to empower your child and will provide the inner confidence needed to overcome the fears.

·       Routines and plenty of warning before change can go a long way to making your child feel more secure and less anxious. Explain new situations in advance in a simple, friendly manner. (Try role playing to prepare for upcoming situations)

·      Remind your child of old fears that they overcame. This will provide the courage and confidence to face current fears. Always praise children’s efforts and successes when they do confront these anxieties.

·         Do not accommodate your child’s fears. If your child fears something, don’t purposefully avoid it as this will reinforce the need for escape and confirm the ‘reality’ of the danger. However, DO reassure your child and try to help him or her through the situation successfully.

·        Don’t dismiss feelings. Telling your child not to worry about her fears may only make her feel like she’s doing something wrong by feeling anxious. Let her know its okay to feel bad about something, and encourage her to share her emotions and thoughts.

· Listen. You know how enormously comforting it can be just to have someone listen when something’s bothering you. Do the same thing for your child. If he doesn’t feel like talking, let him know you are there for him. Just be by his side and remind him that you love him and support him.

·  Offer comfort and distraction. Try to do something she enjoys, like playing a favorite game or cuddling in your lap and having you read to her, just as you did when she was younger. When the chips are down, even a 10-year-old will appreciate a good dose of parent TLC.

· Keep your child healthy. Make sure he’s eating right and getting enough sleep. Not getting enough rest or eating nutritious meals at regular intervals can contribute to your child’s stress. If he feels good, he’ll be better equipped to work through whatever is bothering him.

·Avoid overscheduling. Soccer, karate, baseball, music lessons, play dates the list of extracurricular activities kids can take on is endless. But too many activities can easily lead to stress and anxiety in children. Just as grownups need some downtime after work and on weekends, children also need some quiet time alone to decompress.

.

·         Consult a counselor or your pediatrician. If you suspect that a change in the family such as a new sibling, a move, divorce, or a death of a family member is behind your child's stress and anxiety, seek advice from an expert such as your child's school counselor, your pediatrician, or a child therapist. They can suggest ways to help a child talk about death, for instance, or help him through any other shift in the family.

·         Set a calm example. You can set the tone for how stress and anxiety in children and adults is handled in your house. It's virtually impossible to block out stress from our lives in today's high-tech, 24-hour-news-cycle world, but you can do something about how you handle your own stress. And the more you are able to keep things calm and peaceful at home, the less likely it is that anxiety in children will be a problem in your household

 THANKS 

By: Lubna Mehmood

           Counselling Psychologist

        Meerut U.P (INDIA)

Gifted Child

Gifted Child at center (INDIA)- +919369160546

hello psychologist counseling center Lucknow , INDIA

5 year child amazing brain

Exam Phobia

Exam Phobia Treatment Tip 1:

Learn Relaxation Techniques

When you’re afraid or anxious, you experience a variety of uncomfortable physical symptoms, such as a racing heart and a suffocating feeling. These physical sensations can be frightening themselves—and a large part of what makes your phobia so distressing. However, by learning and practicing relaxation techniques, you can become more confident in your ability to tolerate these uncomfortable sensations and calm yourself down quickly.
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and muscle relaxation are powerful antidotes to anxiety, panic, and fear. With regular practice, they can improve your ability to control the physical symptoms of anxiety, which will make facing your phobia less intimidating. Relaxation techniques will also help you cope more effectively with other sources of stress and anxiety in your life.

A simple deep breathing relaxation exercise
When you’re anxious, you tend to take quick, shallow breaths (also known as hyperventilating), which actually adds to the physical feelings of anxiety. By breathing deeply from the abdomen, you can reverse these physical sensations. You can’t be upset when you’re breathing slowly, deeply, and quietly. Within a few short minutes of deep breathing, you’ll feel less tense, short of breath, and anxious.
Sit or stand comfortably with your back straight. Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
Take a slow breath in through your nose, counting to four. The hand on your stomach should rise. The hand on your chest should move very little.
Hold your breath for a count of seven.
Exhale through your mouth to a count of eight, pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal muscles. The hand on your stomach should move in as you exhale, but your other hand should move very little.
Inhale again, repeating the cycle until you feel relaxed and centered.
Try practicing this deep breathing technique for five minutes twice day. You don’t need to feel anxious to practice. In fact, it’s best to practice when you’re feeling calm until you’re familiar and comfortable with the exercise. Once you’re comfortable with this deep breathing technique, you can start to use it when you’re facing your phobia or in other stressful situations.

Exam Phobia Treatment Tip 2:

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Learning to challenge unhelpful thoughts is an important step in overcoming your phobia. When you have a phobia, you tend to overestimate how bad it will be if you’re exposed to the situation you fear. At the same time, you underestimate your ability to cope.
The anxious thoughts that trigger and fuel phobias are usually negative and unrealistic. It can help to put these thoughts to the test. Begin by writing down any negative thoughts you have when confronted with your phobia. Many times, these thoughts fall into the following categories:
Fortune telling. For example, “This bridge is going to collapse;” “I’ll make a fool of myself for sure;” “I will definitely lose it when the elevator doors close.”
Overgeneralization. “I fainted once while getting a shot. I’ll never be able to get a shot again without passing out;” “That pit bull lunged at me. All dogs are dangerous.”
Catastrophizing. “The captain said we’re going through turbulence. The plane is going to crash!” “The person next to me coughed. Maybe it’s the swine flu. I’m going to get very sick!”
Once you’ve identified your negative thoughts, evaluate them. Use the following example to get started.
It’s also helpful to come up with some positive coping statements that you can tell yourself when facing your phobia. For example:
“I’ve felt this way before and nothing terrible happened. It may be unpleasant, but it won’t harm me.”
“If the worst happens and I have a panic attack while I’m driving, I’ll simply pull over and wait for it to pass.”

“I’ve flown many times and the plane has never crashed. In fact, I don’t know anyone who’s ever been in a plane crash. Statistically, flying is very safe.”

Go And WIN

best of Luck

Child Care

Child Care

Listen

When you take the time to listen to your child, you make him feel important and let him know you have interest in his thoughts and feelings. Even infants and toddlers communicate, if you take the time to listen and pay attention to their attempts at communicating, advises Laurissa. Responding to nonverbal communication will help your child express himself verbally, recommends  Be sure to make time to talk with your child, even as he ages into his pre-teen years and older. When talking with him, give him your full attention, avoid interrupting him and give him nonverbal encouragement, such as leaning toward him, occasionally saying "uh-huh" or smiling when appropriate.

Setting Limits

 If your child misbehaves, do not tell her she was bad. Instead, tell her what she did was wrong and explain a more appropriate behavior. Make clear and consistent rules. This means that the consequence for breaking a rule should be the same each time it is broken. Therefore, parents, baby-sitters and any other family member should use the same rules for your child. Common discipline areas as a child ages include lying, steeling and cheating, states If you find your child lying, steeling or cheating, you need to talk with them to find out exactly why they behaved the way they did, emphasize family rules, figure out a way to reward them when they behave properly and set a good example.talking to your child's school counselor or pediatrician, if his lying, stealing or cheating gets out of control.

Time

Spend plenty of time with your child. children often misbehave when they need attention. Spend time with your child by reading together, playing together, walking together or doing chores together. Mrs. Lock advises that when a parent spends a lot of quality time with their child, a stronger bond builds between a child and the parent, making disciplining and communicating easier.

Praise

Your child needs to know how proud he makes you. Each time he learns something new, behaves well or conquers a challenge tell him how proud you feel, You help build your child's self-esteem when you praise his achievements, good decisions and positive attitude.

Pregnancy Anxiety

1.  Attend a Support Group 

 More and more organizations across the nation are starting support groups for women who are expecting again after a loss. 

2.  Find Success Stories -
 Other women who have made it through a subsequent pregnancy can be a great source of encouragement to you. They are living proof that it is possible to give birth to a healthy baby after the devastation of a loss. Ask your support group leader or health care provider for a referral.

3.  Request Frequent Prenatal Visits - 
There is nothing more reassuring than hearing the fetal heartbeat or seeing the baby's image during an ultrasound.  Even if you are not considered medically high-risk, ask your health care provider for more frequent prenatal appointments for peace of mind.

4.  Be Proactive -
The more knowledgeable you are about the medical aspects of your pregnancy, the better able you will be to discuss treatment options and outcomes with your health care provider. Stay on top of the latest research, and don't hesitate to ask questions or seek a second opinion.

5.  Worry Only about Actual Problems - 
All of us tend to dwell on the "what ifs." While you may not be able to eliminate worries altogether, you will be much happier if you resolve only to worry about actual problems, not what may potentially happen in the future.

6.  Involve Your Partner -
Need someone to lean on during prenatal visits? Having trouble making medical decisions on your own? Get your partner involved in your pregnancy. Research has shown that pregnant women with supportive partners have fewer problems overall.

7.  Treasure Every Moment 
 - Whenever you feel anxious about the future, take time to stop and remember that at this moment, the baby is alive and well. Appreciating your blessings instead of always dwelling on your fears will do wonders for your peace of mind

8.  Monitor the Baby's Movements -
If you are far enough along to feel kicks and jabs, set time aside each morning and night to monitor the baby's activities. This will have a double benefit. Not only will you be reassured that the baby is well, you also will be alerted to any unusual slowdowns that could signal potential problems.

9.  Try Not to Compare 
- Doctors agree that no two pregnancies are exactly alike. So as difficult as it may be, try not to dwell on any similarities between this pregnancy and the one that ended in a loss. Some complications do tend to recur, but since your health care provider now knows about these potential problems, treatment can be more effective.

10 -    Stay Focused on Your Goal 
- You may feel like you've been pregnant forever, but it helps to remember that before long the pregnancy will be a distant memory. If you didn't believe a good outcome was possible, you would not have made the decision to try again. Be grateful for the life growing inside of you and the hope that you will soon be giving birth to a healthy baby.

Self Injury in children's

Causes of Self Injury in children's 

1. Pain.
 Self abuse can sometimes be a sign of pain, especially for a child that has difficulty communicating or that is diagnosed with a pervasive developmental disorder. Observe the exact location of abuse and investigate whether it is possible that the child may be in pain. If the child is hitting his or her head or ear, try to determine if maybe they are suffering from a headache or earache.
You may want to ask if your child hurts or use the sign for pain while pointing to the area. Whatever method of communication you would typically use or if you are using a picture exchange communication system (PECS) , try to create a picture for pain to help them become familiar with this concept. If you believe your child is in pain, contact your pediatrician or family doctor for further instruction.

2. Attention seeking behavior.
 Self injurious behavior can also occur as a way to get attention. If you notice that the child tends to head bang or do other types of injurious behavior usually when alone and someone frequently goes over to give them attention immediately after the behavior, then attention is probably the motivator. Putting the child on a schedule of frequent attention every 5-10 minutes can help with this. You may also find additional strategies for attention seeking behavior at the link above.


3. Access to desirable items.
 Some children will learn that when they can't have something they often gain access to preferred items after hurting themselves. Self injury for this reason can be very tricky. If you try to withhold the items following self abuse you will risk an escalation leading to severe injury. You may find some of the tips on how to say no to be helpful, but seek help from a professional if you suspect this is the problem.

4. During transition times. Some children might engage in self injurious behavior to avoid transitioning to a new activity or to avoid and/or delay undesirable activities. Applying the transition strategies provided at the link above can help with a problem due to this reason.

5. Self-Regulation. It may also be helping a child to achieve self-regulation if the child suffers from sensory processing disorder. Working with an occupational therapist to develop a sensory diet and implement other sensory regulation activities can help to prevent self injury due to this reason.

6. Escape from undesirable activities. A child that doesn't want to do something that is asked might discover that self injury stops requests to do things. Compliance strategies can help to avoid injurious behavior due to this reason, but additional professional assistance may be needed if the behaviors are frequent or severe.

Hand Writing

Improve Hand Writing

1. Good writing is based on a pattern of ovals and parallel lines.

2. All small letters start at the top.

3. All the downstrokes are parallel.

4. All similar letters are the same height.

5. All downstrokes are equidistant.

6. The space between words is the width of the small letter o.

7. Ascenders and descenders are no more than twice the height of small letters, preferably less.

8. Capital letters are no higher than the ascendance, preferably less.

9. Lines of writing are far enough apart for ascendance and descenders not to touch.

10. Letters which finish at the top join horizontally.

Nail biting

Some people experience reflexes when they are nervous. Starting from the feet shaking, tapping fingers, until nail biting.

the habit is not only is harmful for the nail, but also not good for health because it potentially can spread bad bacteria. Because of that, try to stop this bad habit slowly. Here are some possible solutions you can try in order to stop the habit, according to Shine:

Using bitter nail polish

Use nail polish with a bitter taste. If it is difficult to get such nail polish on the market, try rubbing the nails with bitter liquids, such as brotowali herbs. Bitter taste will make you aware when you reflex bite nails. To start, try doing this for a week. It is quite effective to train you to fight the bad habit slowly.

Cut your nails
Nail biting will feel good when there are areas left on the tip of the fingers. Because of that, try cutting the nails regularly, so that the it would be difficult for the teeth to find areas to bite when the reflex happen. The sense of pleasure will be gone when you fail to find the nails.

Reduce stress
Nail biting reflex usually appears during stress or anxiety. Because of that, try to learn to control stress. Immediately look for ways to reduce stress as soon as possible with relaxation like a bubble bath, aromatherapy candles, take a fitness class, or taking a fun trip.

Artificial nails
Using fake nails at the tips of the fingers his could indeed damage the natural nail. That's if it lasts for a long period. Use artificial nails during your program to stop the nail biting habit. Artificial nails will make the habit become less comfortable.

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