How to deal with lying child and teenagers

There may be many reasons why your teen is lying and you need to know the real reason behind the lie. The reason may be wrong crowd or defensive nature. You have to work on the real reason so that you can manage his lying behavior. There may be any reason behind the lying attitude but you may have to face serious consequences because of this attitude. Here is a list of facts that can teach you how to deal with lying teenagers.

First of all you should accept that your teen will lie. This understanding makes the things easy for you and you can confidently deal with your teen. Your objective behavior makes you more aware and you can easily identify when your teen is lying.

• Lying attitude is most commonly associated with defensive nature. If your child becomes defensive during communication then he is lying with you. 

• Maintain an eye contact with your teen for checking his confidence. If he is telling lie then he looks in other directions and avoids eye contact with you. They usually shout for convincing you that they are telling truth.

• Body language and details also reflects the attitude of the lying teenagers.  Teens normally avoid giving details when they are lying or they unnecessarily give you explanation for unwanted things. Their story normally changes every time when you ask them to repeat it again. He also becomes nervous when he is telling lie.

• If it is suspected that your kid is lying then you should give immediate attention for avoiding the worst situation in the future. Make them realize that you trust them and their lie is making the relationship weaker among them. You should not become rude when your teen is telling lie. In fact handle the situation with love and great care. Your rude behavior can encourage him for telling more lies in the future.

• Parents should also teach their teens the meaning of a true and respectful relationship. Parents should also be honest for their teens because children learn a lot from their parents. You can easily make the situation under control if you take hand to take action at that time. Parents should also know how to deal with this tough situation. Your immediate attention can make the situation under control soon and child also tries to give his best for meeting the expectation of the parents.

• You should not jump immediately that your teen is telling lie every time. Analyze the situation carefully and try to understand it deeply. When you are sure about the fact that your teen is telling lie only then you should take some action.

• One you are sure about the reason why teen is telling lie then you should work on the cause so that lying attitude can be avoided in future.

    If any parents see near to all problem in his child then they must think to consult a child psychologist for the proper evaluation and management.


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Why Children's Lies

Why Children's Lies  

When children begin to lie purposely, there may be several reasons:

1. •To play with you;
2. •Because he thinks it is funny;
3. •To gain control of you or a situation;
4. •To avoid punishment;
5. •To cast blame on someone else;
6. •Because of fear or anxiety;
7. •To avoid doing something they do not want to do Because of jealousy. 
8. •Fear. When kids are scared of the consequences of their actions, they often lie to cover up. (Are the rules too strict? Are the limits too tight? Does your child feel free to talk with you?)
9. •To protect somebody else.
10. •Because she is imaginative and the truth is boring.
11. •To avoid an unpleasant task. (“Did you brush your teeth?” “Yes, Dad!”)
12. •By mistake. Sometimes lies seem almost involuntary, and a lie just slips out, especially if your child gets caught in a misdeed.
13. •For love, for approval, and because kids like to impress people quickly and effectively
14. •cover something up, hoping to avoid consequences or punishment                               
15. •explore and experiment with their parents’ responses and reactions
16. •exaggerate a story or impress others
17. •gain attention, even when they’re aware the listener knows the truth
18. •manipulate a situation or set something up – for example, saying to grandma, ‘Mum lets me have lollies before dinner’.
19. •Some kids lie because they feel that they are not meeting their parent's expectations. Are you putting too much pressure?                         
20. perform academically, athletically, or in other ways? Are your expectations realistic for a child that age?
21. •Sometimes, parental consequences are too harsh. A child may lie to avoid a punishment that he feels is unfair. 
22. •Children may lie to protect a friend or family member.  
23. •A child may lie to preserve his self image.                                        

BY :=

Namrata Singh

Child Psychologist

mail us....- namm.psychologist@gmail.com

Self Injury in children's

Causes of Self Injury in children's 

1. Pain.
 Self abuse can sometimes be a sign of pain, especially for a child that has difficulty communicating or that is diagnosed with a pervasive developmental disorder. Observe the exact location of abuse and investigate whether it is possible that the child may be in pain. If the child is hitting his or her head or ear, try to determine if maybe they are suffering from a headache or earache.
You may want to ask if your child hurts or use the sign for pain while pointing to the area. Whatever method of communication you would typically use or if you are using a picture exchange communication system (PECS) , try to create a picture for pain to help them become familiar with this concept. If you believe your child is in pain, contact your pediatrician or family doctor for further instruction.

2. Attention seeking behavior.
 Self injurious behavior can also occur as a way to get attention. If you notice that the child tends to head bang or do other types of injurious behavior usually when alone and someone frequently goes over to give them attention immediately after the behavior, then attention is probably the motivator. Putting the child on a schedule of frequent attention every 5-10 minutes can help with this. You may also find additional strategies for attention seeking behavior at the link above.


3. Access to desirable items.
 Some children will learn that when they can't have something they often gain access to preferred items after hurting themselves. Self injury for this reason can be very tricky. If you try to withhold the items following self abuse you will risk an escalation leading to severe injury. You may find some of the tips on how to say no to be helpful, but seek help from a professional if you suspect this is the problem.

4. During transition times. Some children might engage in self injurious behavior to avoid transitioning to a new activity or to avoid and/or delay undesirable activities. Applying the transition strategies provided at the link above can help with a problem due to this reason.

5. Self-Regulation. It may also be helping a child to achieve self-regulation if the child suffers from sensory processing disorder. Working with an occupational therapist to develop a sensory diet and implement other sensory regulation activities can help to prevent self injury due to this reason.

6. Escape from undesirable activities. A child that doesn't want to do something that is asked might discover that self injury stops requests to do things. Compliance strategies can help to avoid injurious behavior due to this reason, but additional professional assistance may be needed if the behaviors are frequent or severe.