Problems at school: children 9-15 years

     Problems at school: children 9-15 years

Problems at school : the basics

Ups and downs at school are part of life for many young people. A good relationship with your child’s school and teachers can help you head off problems. If school problems do come up, it’s important that you quickly recognize and address them.

Problems at school can show up as poor academic performance, lack of motivation for school, loss of interest in school work, or poor relationships with peers or teachers.


School difficulties range from minor to severe, might be very short-lived or last for longer.

Common signs of school problems-

•  Drop in marks in one or more subjects.
•  Lack of engagement, connection or involvement with school – for example, your child might not be interested in extracurricular activities or have very few friends.
• Showing embarrassment or discomfort when talking about school.
• Refusing to talk with you about school, or rarely talking about school with family or friends.
  
• Never or rarely doing homework, or rarely talking about homework.
• Having low confidence or lacking self-esteem – your child might say she is ‘dumb’, ‘stupid’ or not as clever as her friends.
• Being kept back at lunch time or the end of the school day.
• Finding excuses not to go to school or skipping school without your knowledge.
• Being bored with school work or not feeling challenged enough – your child might say he’s not learning anything new.
• Having attention or behavior problems.
• Being bullied or bullying others.

Sometimes, problems at school will be easy to spot, and your child will willingly talk to you about them.

           But some children hide problems from their parents, teachers and peers. They might copy homework, pretend to be sick during important tests, or not bring reports home. This can make it very difficult for you to pick up on a problem. Sometimes even teachers might not spot the clues – especially if your child is absent a lot.

Causes of school problems

• Behavioral or developmental difficulties.
• Poor communication skills.
• Poor social skills.
• Difficulty with listening, concentrating or sitting still.
• Disliking, or not feeling connected to, the school culture or environment.
• Disliking school subjects, not liking the choice of subjects, or not feeling challenged by the work
• Not getting along with teachers or other students at school.
• Parents who aren’t involved in their child’s education.
• Family problems such as relationship breakdowns.
• Competing demands on time, such as extracurricular activities.
• Skipping school because of any of the reasons listed above.       

Parents contact a counselor -psychologist,to help their children with a variety of issues, such as academic achievement,student crisis situations,personal/social. 

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Why Children's Lies

Why Children's Lies  

When children begin to lie purposely, there may be several reasons:

1. •To play with you;
2. •Because he thinks it is funny;
3. •To gain control of you or a situation;
4. •To avoid punishment;
5. •To cast blame on someone else;
6. •Because of fear or anxiety;
7. •To avoid doing something they do not want to do Because of jealousy. 
8. •Fear. When kids are scared of the consequences of their actions, they often lie to cover up. (Are the rules too strict? Are the limits too tight? Does your child feel free to talk with you?)
9. •To protect somebody else.
10. •Because she is imaginative and the truth is boring.
11. •To avoid an unpleasant task. (“Did you brush your teeth?” “Yes, Dad!”)
12. •By mistake. Sometimes lies seem almost involuntary, and a lie just slips out, especially if your child gets caught in a misdeed.
13. •For love, for approval, and because kids like to impress people quickly and effectively
14. •cover something up, hoping to avoid consequences or punishment                               
15. •explore and experiment with their parents’ responses and reactions
16. •exaggerate a story or impress others
17. •gain attention, even when they’re aware the listener knows the truth
18. •manipulate a situation or set something up – for example, saying to grandma, ‘Mum lets me have lollies before dinner’.
19. •Some kids lie because they feel that they are not meeting their parent's expectations. Are you putting too much pressure?                         
20. perform academically, athletically, or in other ways? Are your expectations realistic for a child that age?
21. •Sometimes, parental consequences are too harsh. A child may lie to avoid a punishment that he feels is unfair. 
22. •Children may lie to protect a friend or family member.  
23. •A child may lie to preserve his self image.                                        

BY :=

Namrata Singh

Child Psychologist

mail us....- namm.psychologist@gmail.com

Exam Phobia

Exam Phobia Treatment Tip 1:

Learn Relaxation Techniques

When you’re afraid or anxious, you experience a variety of uncomfortable physical symptoms, such as a racing heart and a suffocating feeling. These physical sensations can be frightening themselves—and a large part of what makes your phobia so distressing. However, by learning and practicing relaxation techniques, you can become more confident in your ability to tolerate these uncomfortable sensations and calm yourself down quickly.
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and muscle relaxation are powerful antidotes to anxiety, panic, and fear. With regular practice, they can improve your ability to control the physical symptoms of anxiety, which will make facing your phobia less intimidating. Relaxation techniques will also help you cope more effectively with other sources of stress and anxiety in your life.

A simple deep breathing relaxation exercise
When you’re anxious, you tend to take quick, shallow breaths (also known as hyperventilating), which actually adds to the physical feelings of anxiety. By breathing deeply from the abdomen, you can reverse these physical sensations. You can’t be upset when you’re breathing slowly, deeply, and quietly. Within a few short minutes of deep breathing, you’ll feel less tense, short of breath, and anxious.
Sit or stand comfortably with your back straight. Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
Take a slow breath in through your nose, counting to four. The hand on your stomach should rise. The hand on your chest should move very little.
Hold your breath for a count of seven.
Exhale through your mouth to a count of eight, pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal muscles. The hand on your stomach should move in as you exhale, but your other hand should move very little.
Inhale again, repeating the cycle until you feel relaxed and centered.
Try practicing this deep breathing technique for five minutes twice day. You don’t need to feel anxious to practice. In fact, it’s best to practice when you’re feeling calm until you’re familiar and comfortable with the exercise. Once you’re comfortable with this deep breathing technique, you can start to use it when you’re facing your phobia or in other stressful situations.

Exam Phobia Treatment Tip 2:

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Learning to challenge unhelpful thoughts is an important step in overcoming your phobia. When you have a phobia, you tend to overestimate how bad it will be if you’re exposed to the situation you fear. At the same time, you underestimate your ability to cope.
The anxious thoughts that trigger and fuel phobias are usually negative and unrealistic. It can help to put these thoughts to the test. Begin by writing down any negative thoughts you have when confronted with your phobia. Many times, these thoughts fall into the following categories:
Fortune telling. For example, “This bridge is going to collapse;” “I’ll make a fool of myself for sure;” “I will definitely lose it when the elevator doors close.”
Overgeneralization. “I fainted once while getting a shot. I’ll never be able to get a shot again without passing out;” “That pit bull lunged at me. All dogs are dangerous.”
Catastrophizing. “The captain said we’re going through turbulence. The plane is going to crash!” “The person next to me coughed. Maybe it’s the swine flu. I’m going to get very sick!”
Once you’ve identified your negative thoughts, evaluate them. Use the following example to get started.
It’s also helpful to come up with some positive coping statements that you can tell yourself when facing your phobia. For example:
“I’ve felt this way before and nothing terrible happened. It may be unpleasant, but it won’t harm me.”
“If the worst happens and I have a panic attack while I’m driving, I’ll simply pull over and wait for it to pass.”

“I’ve flown many times and the plane has never crashed. In fact, I don’t know anyone who’s ever been in a plane crash. Statistically, flying is very safe.”

Go And WIN

best of Luck