Understand child's sex behaviors
Sexual Behaviour And Sexuality Are Difficult Topics To Confront For Several Reasons, Only One Of Which Is The Reluctance Of Many People To Address Or Discuss The Subjects. The Topics Become Even More Difficult When We Have To Speak About Them In Relation To Children. When Children Engage In Sexual Behaviour In School Settings, Teachers And Principals Are Faced With Sensitive Cultural, Gender, Religious, Spiritual, Legal And Professional Issues.
What Is Problem Sexual Behaviour?
There Is A Wide Range Of Behaviour That Can Be Considered Problematic. Such Behaviour Can
Include:
• A Single Incident That Indicates A Child Has Knowledge Of Adult Sexual Behaviour Beyond His/Her Age And Developmental Level
• A Pattern Of Sexual Behaviour, Which, Although The Behaviours Themselves May Be Normal , Does Not Respond To Correction By Adults
• Sexual Behaviours That Are Atypical For A Child’s Developmental Level Or Suggest That A Child Is Pre-Occupied With Sexual Matters
• Sexual Behaviours That Do Not Involve Other Students But Are A Problem For The Student Himself Or Herself (E.G., Excessive Masturbation That Interferes With Academic Work And/Or Peer Relationships)
• Sexual Behaviours That Bother Or Seriously Disturb Other Students
How Do Children Develop Problem Sexual Behavior?
Children’s Problem Sexual Behaviours Can Be Placed In Three Groupings, Each With Different
Origins:
1. Reactive Sexual Behaviour- Some Children Do Sexual Things Because Of What They Have Experienced Or Witnessed
2. Sexualized Behaviour- Some Children Have Had So Much Trouble In Their Lives That They Feel Profoundly Sad, Lonely, Or Empty, And Discover That Sexual Behaviour Helps Them Cope With Unpleasant And Negative Emotions.
3. Coercive Sexual Behaviour- A Few Children Who Have Experienced A Long History Of Powerlessness And Physical And Sexual Abuse, Or Have Witnessed Violence, Come To Engage In Coercive Sexual Behaviour That Mimics That Of Aggressive Adult Sexual Behaviour.
Helping Your Children To Change Their Behaviour-
Step 1- Find Out Which Of The Child’s Specific Behaviour Need To Be Changed, Such As Persistent Sex Play Or Pressuring A Younger To Have Sexual Contact. Then Look At How Often It Has Happened, What Else Goes On While It Happens, And What Reward The Child Gets From It. For Example, Child May Get Attention For His/Her Behaviour; It May Feel Good, Or It May Be A Way Of Having Control Over Others.
Step 2- Make A Plan To Stop The Behaviour. What To Do (Ignoring, Time Out Or Punishment) Depends On How Serious The Behaviour Is. Be Sure To Tell The Child What Behaviour You Are Concerned About And What You Are Going To Do. Then Follow Through With It.
Step 3- Make A Plan To Praise Positive Behviour. Figure Out What Child Is Getting From The Sexual Behaviour And Look For Others Ways To Meet Those Needs. For Example, If Child Does Not Know How To Tell People When He Or She Is Angry, Find Ways To Help Him Or Her Express Her Anger, Such As Talking About It Or Drawing Pictures. If Child Needs Attention, Give It When He Or She Is Behaving Well. Teach The Child Things To Do To Help Control Himself/Herself, Like Asking For Help, Leaving The Situation Or Taking Time To Think Things Thorough Before Acting.
Step 4- Protect The Children. When Children Cannot Stop Misbehaving On Their Own, Don’t Give Them Chances To Continue Misbehaving. This Means Watching Them Closely, Not Allow Them To Play With Other Children Without Adults Around Who Know What To Watch For. When Children Have Proven They Can Behave, It May Be Possible To Become More Flexible.
Step 5- Take Care Of Yourself. You Will Be Less Able To Help Your Child If You Are Angry, Depressed Or Overwhelmed. Talk To Family And Friends About Your Feelings, Get Advice From People You Trust, Consult Your Doctor Or Talk To Your Counselor. Even Though This Is A Stressful Time, Try To Stay Focused On Helping Your Child And Strengthening Your Family. In The Long Run, If You Are Handling The Situation Well, That Will Be The Most Help.
Responsibilities Of School Staff-
All School Staff Are Responsible For The Initial Intervention When They Observe Problem Sexual Behaviour By A Student, Or When Such Behaviour Is Reported By A Student. The Initial Intervention Includes Talking To The Student Who Exhibited The Behaviour, Documenting The Incident, Informing The Principal, And Reporting To A Child Protection Social Worker/Police When Necessary. However, School Personnel Have Specific Responsibilities Beyond The Initial Intervention. Responsibilities May Vary Depending On The Seriousness Of The Behaviour.
An Effective School Response To Children’s Problem
Sexual Behaviors Has Three Goals :
1. Encourage Communication — Adults Provide A Model For The Child By Being Able To Talk Clearly And Calmly About The Sexual Behaviour.
2. Develop Empathy — Adults Help The Child To Recognize And Interpret Cues That Signal Others’ Feelings And Needs, And Tell The Child About The Impact Of Her Or His Behaviour On Others.
3. Promote Accountability — Adults Help The Child Develop The Ability To “Catch” His Or Her Thoughts, Recognize Thinking Errors, And Understand That Behaviour Does Not “Just Happen.”
The Teacher:
• Talks To The Student(S) Involved And The Student Who Was Mistreated To Gather More
Information As Required
• Informs The Principal Of Incidents When They Occur
• Consults With School Counsellor Concerning Needs Of Students
• Documents The Incident And The Intervention
• Informs Parents Of Students Or Assists Principal And Counsellor In Talking To Parents
• Participates In The Development And Implementation Of A Safety And Support Plan
• Implements Behaviour Management Strategies In The Classroom, As Necessary
• May Provide Classroom Lessons/Discussion On Boundaries
The Principal:
• Receives Information (I.E., Reports) From Any Staff Person Or Parent Concerning Problem Sexual
Behaviour By Student(S)
• Stores Documentation In A Confidential, Secure Location (Not Part Of Student File)
• Contacts And Meets With Parents (I.E., Levels 2 And 3, Page 13)
• Convenes And Chairs Safety And Support Plan Team
• Assumes Role Of Case Manager Or Delegates The Responsibility To A Staff Member In The School
• Participates In The Development And Implementation Of The Safety And Support Plan
The Counsellor:
• Assists The Principal In Talking With Parents
• Determines Students’ Need For Further Support
• Consults With A Mental Health Professional (With Parents’ Written Permission)
• Participates In The Development Of A Safety And Support Plan
• Provides Support For The Classroom Teacher In Implementing Behaviour Management Strategies
• Discusses Boundary Issues With His Or Her Class
• Works With Student(S) Involved
The Support Staff:
• Informs Principal Of Incidents Of Problem Sexual Behaviour
• Documents The Incident
• Participates In The Development And Implementation Of The Safety And Support Plan As Requested
By The Principal
• Assists Classroom Teacher In Implementing Behaviour Management Strategies
Thanks
