Good Parenting
Raising children, especially in this day and age, is not an easy task. But, if you start out from their birth on the right track, even though there will be bumps in the road along the way, it is still possible, even now, to set them on the path to being decent human beings. Being a parent is one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have. The most important thing a parent can give their child, however, is a sense of being loved. Just keep in mind that you don't have to be infallible to be a "perfect" parent.
1. Have patience- The main ingredient in the recipe for a “good parent” is patience. If you want them to turn out well in the end, you have to know, up front, what kind of people you want them to become and set out to teach them how to be it. But it takes patience because they are going to fight you every step of the way. But at the same time don’t be afraid to make mistakes. As long as your children get the basics, they are going to be OK. A few mistakes along the way are not going to change the end result.
2. Do not fight or argue with each other in front of the children- First of all fighting with each other about something but then sticking concerning your child is going to make it look to the child as tough your “united front” is only “united against” your child. The object is to show your children a loving unity that includes them. So, curb your temper. Your children are going to be subjected to enough fighting when they get to school and then out into the World. Let your home be their refuse where they know they are safe and all is well. Especially do not argue with each other over something concerning the children in front of them. If you disagree with each other on something, discuss it out of their hearing so that they do not know you were not united on the decision.
3. Teach your children manners- Teach them to say please and thank you, to open doors for people, to let’s go first, to share, to not interrupt when someone in talking, to be polite, to have respect.
4. Teach your children the difference between right and wrong- That’s not as simple as it sounds, but you know the difference between right and wrong, then you can teach it to your children. Teach them that every action, good or bad, has a consequences and they must be willing to accept that consequence. Teach them that they must learn to look at the consequences of an action and then decide whether they want to accept that consequences before they do not action. Teach them that if they don’t know what the consequence of something would be, they should ask you about it before they do it.
5 Express your love and affection- A gentle cuddle, a little encouragement, appreciation, approval or even a smile can go a long way to boost the confidence and well-being of your children. Tell them you love them every day. Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what.
6 Praise Your Children- Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings. Each child is individual and unique. Teach your children that it is okay for them to be different, and they do not have to follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when they are young, and they will (more often than not) be able to make their own decisions, instead of listening to/following others. Remember that your child is not an extension of yourself. Your child is an individual under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through them.
7 Avoid Criticism- When your child acts out in a harmful and spiteful manner, tell him or her that such behavior is unacceptable and suggest alternatives. Avoid statements such as: "You're bad." "Go away!", etc. (as difficult as it may be to remain positive) . Avoid public humiliation. If they misbehave in public, take them aside, and scold them privately.
8. Be consistent- Enforce rules that apply to every person leading a happy and productive life Enforce the same rules all the time, and resist your child's attempts to manipulate you into making exceptions. Communicate clearly. Children should be very familiar with the consequences of their actions. If you give them a punishment, be sure they understand the reason and the fault, if you cannot articulate the reason and how they are at fault the punishment will not have the discouraging effects you desire.
9. Listen to them- Express interest in your children and involve yourself in his and her life. Create an atmosphere in which they can come to you with a problem however large or small.
10. Provide Order- Set boundaries such as bedtimes and curfews, so they learn that they have limitations. By doing so, they actually get a sense of being loved and cared about by their parents. Encourage responsibility by giving them jobs or "chores" to do and as a reward for those jobs give them some kind of privilege (money, extended curfew, extra play time, etc.).
11. Spend quality time with your children- Spend a lot of time with your kids and love them with all your heart. Try to divide your time equally if you have more than one child.
Written By :-
Dr.Shweta singh
Guest Lecturer,
Dpt. of Applied Psychology,
V.B.S.Purvanchal University
Jaunpur,U.P.,INDIA
shweta_opsingh@rediffmail.com
